#my favorite small little guy being equally fucked up in the head

[astersghost]

Hey um hey uh hey mr. Liam O'Brien uh ow uh ouch

[wonryllis]

my world in my arms ⋅ CUDDLING WITH ENHYPEN!

╰ 𝖠𝖫𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖭𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖵𝖤𝖫𝖸, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝖻𝗋𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀.

THE ATELIER. enhypen in their comfort place, word count 890 requested by anon, CONTAINS— fluff, suggestive in jake's part, fem!reader. unedited. ( ARCHIVE? ) pls reblog!!

𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚

he loves the feel of you in his arms so much, he's quite literally glued to you whenever possible. arms always wrapped around you. you feel warm and you feel home to heeseung. it's like all his worries disappear when he holds you, sometimes when he's too stressed out of his mind, his first instinct is to find you.

to him just being able to have you in his arms is the best thing ever. he doesn't give a fuck about how, he just has to hold you, body against body that's it. sometimes he'll nuzzle into you and fall asleep in minutes, sometimes he'll sing you soft songs, and sometimes he'd straight up leave kisses after kisses all over your exposed skin and lips.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

your wish is my command guy number one. his precious baby is his safe haven and he loves just going in for a cuddle anytime you ask or anytime it looks like you want it. he knows you more than you know yourself, always giving you the princess treatment without you having to utter a single word.

he alternates between big and small spoon, equally loving having your hands wrapped around him from the back to having your face nuzzled into his chest. his favorite though would be when he's gaming on the couch and you come over all drowsy and cute and climb into his lap, looping your arms around his waist or neck and falling right back to sleep there.

𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡

he is open to cuddling all the damn time, on his off days he makes sure to spend at least half the day snuggling with you either on the bed or anywhere in the house. and even on his busiest days he definitely squeezes in the time to have a cuddle session where you both talk about anything and everything.

most of time jake likes to cuddle face to face, he wants to be able to see you, see all the little expressions you do when you speak of different things. look into your eyes, trace your lips, carress your cheeks. and on some days the hands on your waist run around places not so innocent, trying to sneak in a lazy makeout session and maybe even further.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡

his day is not complete without a cuddle with you. it's an essential part of his routine and he absolutely needs it everyday. when he's away from you for any reason, he facetimes you at least twice a day. sometimes even just facetiming to fall asleep with you on call, so tired but wanting to feel you near him,

usually sunghoon likes to be the big spoon, to engulf you in his arms as if he's protecting you from monsters under the bed. oftentimes, he would have one arm under your head as a pillow and the other over you as he holds his phone to show you pictures from his trips or daily life. telling about the stories behind the clicks and telling you how much he missed you there.

𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗪𝗢𝗢

two words: free use. y'all jump on each other for cuddles whenever you feel like it even if it's just for a few minutes. sunoo just loves to come home to cuddle and take naps with you. he loves being your personal pillow, rubbing your back and playing with your hair. the apple of his eyes curled up with him. bestest thing.

when he's had a long day, he likes to cuddle facing you telling you about his day and then later change into the small spoon to fall asleep and having a wishful belief that you'll dream of each other. especially on rainy days, he loves putting on your favorite show and cuddling on the couch oftentimes ending up napping halfway through.

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡

he's ready to cuddle whenever you want. he may not ask for cuddles a lot but he's down for it whenever you wish for it. your wish is my command guy number two. always the happiest when he has you wrapped in his arms, so many smiles and giggles from him like he's in literal heaven, a perfect paradise.

jungwon prefers to be able to see you too, but honestly this guy would do whatever you want. you wanna be the small spoon? he loves it. you wanna be the big spoon? he loves it. you wanna face him? he loves it. any chance he gets he's beyond happy. you see jungwon finds happiness in the little things in life, so just being able to hold you is more than enough, his little world.

𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜

cuddles with him are spontaneous and crazy and fun and soft and fuzzy and literally everything in between. you never know which type you're going for and sometimes it changes from sentimental deep talks to tickle fights and pillows slapping against each other and playful wrestling matches all over the bed.

riki loves loves loves having you stuck against his side one arm going from under your waist to over you holding his phone close to play games together in it in multiplayer mode. letting you win on purpose because everytime you do, you're leaving kisses all over his face in excitement, and sometimes placing bets and winning only to ask for kisses again.

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia @nxzz-skz

[bobardo]

requestin a lil… nsfw alphabet with carmy berzatto (au or not is up to u!) bc i am GONE GONE GONE for this guy and the way you write him - 🍓nonnie <33

BERRY GET OUT OF MY HEAD I WAS JS THINKING ABT MAKING ONE OF THESEEEEE

tw!! nsfw alphabet. this shit finna get filthy y'all 😝. buckle up!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

ok i think boxer!carmy is the type to wanna hold his cub after sex for literally as long as possible like. arms still wrapped around her waist even after she's come down from that fuzzy, floaty headspace he sends her to, fingers tickling the flesh of her forearms, supple thighs, her bruised up, heaving chest, her sagged shoulder, or curled up in her mussed hair, scratching gently at her sweaty scalp. when he goes supa hard on his girl i can see him being extra attentive (like he's always there when she needs him but he refuses to leave her side when he's been rougher than usual—carries her everywhere like a small child, hand feeds her foods, keeps her off her feet more than her had when he had her on her damn back). he's always asking if she needs anything from him or if she's feeling good or if he'd been too rough with her anywhere—just very sweet and kinda anxious to make her as comfortable as fucking humanly possibly because he's just so thankful for her and fucking grateful that she fits to him—molds to his whims—so perfectly :((

B = Body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

ASSSSS!!!! like carmen berzatto loves his cub and could spend hours trying to find the words to describe her ethereal beauty but this man is a SUCKER for her pretty ass :)). he definitely pretends to hit it from the back any and every fucking time she's bent over; he's holding her there when she's in his lap, stood beside him, tucked into his side, embraced in his burly biceps—hugging his big body, her little hands grasping at the broad of his back with his massive paws pressed into the fat of her ass :(((. he likes to lay his head on it when he finds her laying on her stomach across the bed, scrolling mindlessly through her phone or reading a book or stetching in her notebook. other times he come in and eye her there from the doorframe for a minute, head titled curiously, and then come up behind her—quiet enough that she usually doesn't notice—and issue a sure smack to her teasing bottom. carmy just loves to grab it, smack it, lick it, bite it, kiss it; and she makes it damn hard not to with those tight and tiny clothes she insists on wearin' all the time—not that he's really fuckin' complaining. he just loves cub's ass :)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i think carmy doesn't really care where he comes as long as it's on or in his cub. like obviously he loves spilling into her sweet cunt, or down her tight throat, but he's also obsessed with rubbing himself into her skin—printing, marking—coming hard over her soft tummy, or her arched back; her bite ridden, spit-slicked breasts, or her hand-printed, irritated ass, and massaging his essence into her flesh... idk it makes him dizzy and gets his cock stirring equally as fast as watching his cum drip from her ruined pussy or her throat bob as she swallows a load she's just given him does. hard decisions :((

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

well this secret has been revealed already but bear loves cub's pretty pink toes :)) she's usually always wearing heals—a personal preference—so he lovessss when she comes home after a long day and makes him unbuckle and/or slip her shoes off and give her a foot rub. flops down on the bed or couch and tugs her legs over his lap, leans forward to grab the shea butter and tv remote to hand to his cub. and takes a dollop of shea butter and rubs it into his palms as she picks some rom-com—set it up tonight, a fan favorite—to watch before taking one of her feet in his paws, smoothing the moisturizer into her skin, soothing the ache, digging them out from the crevices of her muscles with those heavenly fingers of his. in the bedroom, he kisses and sucks on her little pink toes, keeps them pressed against his pecs when he's got her on her back, pulls them up to his stomach when he's got her on all fours. he just thinks they're so cute, little pink things, and he loves the way she reacts when he sucks them into his mouth it makes his head spin almost as much as when they’re sliding up and down the length of his hard cock.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

boxer!carmy was a whore. key word; was, but still, you know? that little comment about ring girls he made to his cub during their first fight was not just some information he picked up after years of being in the industry, carmy knows. it's a fact that his cub loves to throw in his face whenever he gets unreasonably jealous at her interaction with the male species, because she has to watch him get swarmed by ten different scarcely clothed girls every time he wins a fight with a fucking smile on her face; he can suffer through a few minutes of her making idle conversation with the opposite sex.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

oh lawd i feel like this is a toss up between missionary and doggy. carm loves missionary because, for one, he gets to see his cub's gorgeous face and study each reaction and inflection she offers him. he can easily reach for her heaving tits and squeeze them in his massive paws, or lean down to suckle a trail of hickies over them. he'll throw her legs over his shoulders and fall into her, folding her in on herself, spreading her open for him, sneak his hand down between their bodies to smear his thumb over her clit. but then there's doggy where he can press and play with her perfect ass as he sinks his cock into her to the root, pushing down on the bend of her back to force her farther into and arm, face smushed against the sheets, shoulders slumped, ass up and pressed tight to her bear. more hard decisions :(((

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i definitely think our bear is more on the serious side. it certainly wouldn't ruin the moment if he tripped over himself when trying to yank down his pants, or they bump foreheads or he gets elbowed when he manhandles her around where he wants her, a brief, soft and loving laugh exchanged between them. but they fall right back into each other when the moment has passed, drunk of both lust and love, a fatal attraction. their affection—obsession—for one another is too serious for their sex to be any different.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

despite his honorific, carmy keeps it clean down there. not smooth-shaven, but not prickly or bushy either. it's just the right length and amount that it's honestly more attractive that he isn't completely smooth. he prefers to wax, and will shave to trim up anywhere thats needed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

our boy carmy craves being close, so it's hard to imagine him being anything but intimate when he's with his girl, between the sheets or not. no one said he was conventionally intimate, however. he shows his intimacy through a hand sealed to the hinge of her jaw, keeping her mouth near his. or with fingers digging into hips, locking her to his cock; through a fist in her scalp, or a hand pressing down on the bulge in her stomach. i feel like carm is more primally intimate than romantically intimate, you know? anywhore...

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn't even remember the meaning of the term 💀 only if the hand jacking his stiff cock belongs to his cub :))

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

oh em gee this actually just popped into my brain but like i can see carm lwk liking temperature play but like not normal?? y'all HEAR ME OUT THERE'S A VISION. after like a particularly brutal fight (our baby won still, dw) carmy has to take an ice bath to soothe his muscles, so he slips inside a large tin bath with his girl by he side, sitting in a chair pulled next to the bath. he's shivering as he sinks down to his neck, heavy breath coming through pursed lips, hands clenched into fits beneath the ice. he curses under his breath but eventually settle, his cub's hand pressing sweaty curls away from his forehead. he rolls his head back against the padded ledge and flits his droopy eyes up to her, smiling softly. and then, unprovoked, "come sit on m'face, cub." and like... ok! so she moves her chair to the head of the tub and then sits with her front facing the back of the chair. she grips the top of her seat as carmy fits his head between her parted thighs and lifts his freezing arms from the ice water and "quiet f'me, baby, don't need anybody walkin' in." so... yeah 💆🏽‍♀️

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

carmen will fuck his girl literally anywhere in the house—it's their fucking penthouse, he should be able to shove his cock inside his cub whenever, wherever, and however he fucking feels like. i feel like they fuck in the locker room way too often in the beginning stages of their relationship, and at least twice in the actual arena on the canvas of the ring. oh, he lovessss a good car and/or limo sesh, reminds him of their first time <333

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything his cub does. anything. some favorites, though, are when she dances for, with, or on him, when she licks sweat from his skin in some feral display of affection, when she tries to manhandle him the way he can her, and when she asks him for help—seriously, she's so goddamn stubborn and coy that she rarely ever just asks for something, there's always some game to play.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

hmmm i think he would never do anything with a knife or something involving blood when it comes to his cub—like, if there's cuts and bruises on his body from a fight and she's pressin' and kissin' and bitin' on them, drawing his ichor to the surface, he's not gonna stop the show. but if he claws at her flesh hard enough to scrape away a few layers of skin and draws crimson to the surface, he's literally throwing a fit, like borderline calling an ambulance, about to report himself for a crime. he's not against the infliction of pain in a sexual context—clearly not, he'll bite and smack and yank his cub to his heart's content—but the second it turns from something enticingly heady into something hurtful and damning all facades are dropped and he's tending to his sweetheart :((

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

bear is a MUNCHHHHH!! he's always gagging to get his head between his cub's thighs, and he's damn good at it. he pays close attention every time he's down there, listens for every bleat and moan she lets slip past her plump lips, hands soothing any patch of flesh he can paw at. he'd never turn down his cub's—hot and wet around him; knows everything he likes, needs, to finish him off—but if she says some dumb shit like, "do you want me to give you head or do you want to give me head?" he pulling her into him and ripping at whatever his blocking his mouth from her sweet pussy so he can fucking show her what he wants—

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think it deffffinitely depends on the mood/situation. like he always sets the pace in the moment, based off the vibe the night has curated and the way his girl has been behaving for the night. HEAVY on the behavior; all she has to do is be good and she'll get what she asks for—but we've established she doesn't ask for anything, she plays games, and so why would this be any fucking different. so i suppose most of the time it's firm and deep but not necessarily fast, only when she begs for it, and, on the rare occasion she plays nice, he takes soft and slow with his sweet cub.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

if his girl's down, he's down 😛.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i feel like he's open to anything that doesn't cause real harm to his cub. like he'll try out exhibitionism with her if she wants to but only in a controlled environment. keeps the details to himself so she feels like it's raw and unstaged, but he'd for sure rent out like a club or restaurant and fuck her on the table in front of everyone—everyone being a group of paid, NDA signed actors, you know?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

MJ said it best y'all; he's makin' sweet love 'til the break of dawn 🤧 (like regardless if he just got beat down—if his girl wants his cock, she's getting his cock).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i don't think carm every had or really used toys before he met his girl, and they don't use them particularly often in the bedroom to begin with, but he's not averse to them, and when they do it's always a good time—for some more than others (the some being carmen, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of his twitching cub, c'mon, baby, gimme more, gimme that fuckin' cream—).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

jesus lord 😖. mean, mean, mean man, our bear :(( he riles his cub up 37,000 times a day and leaves her high and soaked each time. slips a rogue hand up her skirt to pet at her clothed pussy, fits his hand to her jaw when she gets snippy, keeps a hand on her—usually her ass—at all times, tell her to open up when he pulls away from a kiss to offhandedly spit in her sweet mouth. then he just... smiles and gives her an unnecessary wink, moseying off to do whatever it is that he does :(((

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

i'm a FIRM believer that cub is the only person—despite carm's gross (in her opinion) body count—that can make him moan, you know? like deep, from the pit of his stomach, rooted in the pleasure she stirs in the belly of the beast—the bear, her bear—a low, rumbling moan fallen past his red, bitten lips, parting and un-parting over stuttered breaths. like she makes him sing the way he does for her, and she's the only one that can :))

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he lets her use the tip to scroll 💀 (i can imagine this so vividly in my head 😭 😭) BUT ANYWAY i think our bear likes nip sucking...idk i can just see him with a lactation kink :)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

i feel like i covered this the best i could in the first time blurby but if it wasn't clear our man is THICK. like his cock is no longer then six, six and half inches long, but the width??? literally tearing his girl in two 🤕

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

IF HIS GIRL'S DOWN, HE'S DOWN, SHE IS HIS SEX DRIVE.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

boxer!carmy only falls alseep after he knows he's girl is knocked out for the night. he tickles, gentle, with his finger-pads, up and down her arm, whispers sweet praises in her ear and presses kisses to her sweaty temple and lull her into a dreamy, sated state and eventually to bed. only then, with her nose pressed into his neck and her hands bunched up at his chest, tucked in his side, with her leg thrown over his slowly rising and falling stomach, does he allow his eyes to grow heavy with sleep. when (if) he dreams, he dreams of her.

——

a/n: this was fun!! hope u enjoy my berry 😚

not edited/proofread!

[jadeddangel]

if you do poly stuff could I get a Lute x reader x Adam

I 100% DO POLY STUFF OMFG I SIMP FOR THEM SO BAD

Lute x reader x Adam

Headcannons and blurbs

warnings: hints of smut here and there but mostly toothrotting fluff

If you are under the age of 18 or legal age, please don't interact

Adam may not always treat you and lute the best but there's never really a doubt from either of you

Adam does his best to spend time equally but unfortunately with lute being his second in command he's constantly working with her

The moment one of their masks comes off when they get home on the other hand they're both yours for as Ling as they can be

Adam and lute had been gone all day, between planning the exterminations and dealing with having to train new exterminators they were wiped. You had worked as a secretary for Sera and Emily, so you were usually home pretty late. Adam and Lute picked up some pizza on the way home and were just waiting. Emily had been running you ragged having you play with her, color for hours, climb through a play place that she insisted on having for the younger sould and unfortunately she hadn't really taken into account that you needed to eat, so all day you had been starving. You were finally allowed to go home after heaven started to get dark to allow souls to rest. You were trugging up the stairs of your building going straight to your shared loft. You stepped into the loft, kicking your shoes off and hanging your bag, taking notice to the 2 masks already at the door. "Guys, I'm home!" You called out weakly as you stepped into the living room. They were sitting together on the couch cuddled up together while watching a movie. Lute took notice to you first and moved so she was standing on her knees on the couch as she waved you over. You gave her a weak smile as you leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss putting your hand on the side of her head as she immediately pulled you down more letting the kiss start to get heated as she pushed her tongue into her mouth. At this point, Adam took notice of you being back due to the happy little hums and heavy breaths that he was hearing next to him, Adam cleared his throat, trying to bring attention back to him. Lute pulled away before kissing your nose playfully. You laughed a bit before looking over at Adam. Adam gave you a small smile "Well hi there, sugar tits.. where's my kiss, huh? A kiss for your favorite boy?" Adam teased

It was often like this calm and sweet, and aside from Adam's minor sexist and misogynistic moments here and there

Lute always called him on his shit though

The only time your routine ever changed was the week after the exterminations

That was when mating season started, due to most of the angels being bird or animal based, which caused heaven to basically shut down

You, Adam, and lute just stayed in your apartment making a nest out of pillows and blankets

It was also one of the only times Adam took over cooking, insisting that you needed rest for later activities

Now, when it comes down to sex, Adam refuses to bottom, and so does lute (but not as harshly), leaving you between a rock and a hard place when you try to top

They're definitely big on restraints ,breeding, and marking. They just have to let anyone and everyone know who you belong to

Lute is rather quiet ob the vocal spectrum, and Adam only lets out curses and heavy breathes

Adam literally sucks at aftercare. He'll waste all of his energy focusing on fucking you silly that he's usually passed out by the end of it

Now, don't get lute wrong she loves you and loves to take care of you, but she isn't the best at aftercare either.

Lute will get you in a nice warm bath, maybe put warm compresses and massage on places that hurt and then will just put on a show in the background

Lute usually pays more attention to cleaning you up rather than Adam, she just takes a damp rag and just wipes him down

Cuddles are a must between the 2 of them

I mean it, they're so scared of losing you that they cling to you for dear life the moment you get home

[alastor-the-demon]

*He fades into his radio station*

Salutations! Today we are going to be reading a transcript of everything that was said between Charlie and Adam's first conversation!

Adam: 'Sup!

Charlie: Holy, shit!

[Charlie immediately fell down after getting surprised by the sudden appearance of two angels in the room. She gets back up and readjusts herself to introduce herself properly.]

Charlie: Hi, I'm Charlie. My dad asked me if I could meet you.

Adam: Yeah, I know.

Charlie: Okay, well.

[Adam eats his rib like a buzzsaw]

Charlie: It's nice to meet you.

Adam: Totally. It's nice to meet you, too.

[Adam reaches over to give Charlie a handshake, and as she was about to shake his hand, her hand slips right through, revealing him to be a hologram, fizzing on and off after being touched, which freaks Charlie out.]

Adam: Ha! I fucking got you. *turns to Lute* Did you see that?

[Lute nods once.]

Adam: Ha. Good shit.

[Charlie was trying to get something straight with Adam being a hologram.]

Charlie: Uh...so, wait. You aren't here?

Adam: No, you think I'd come down there? *laughs* No, I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong. But! it's such a bummer! man. Everything down there's just so "eugh", ya know? *chuckles* Ew.

Charlie: Right. So, I'm happy we've got this opportunity to meet. There's a project that I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about-

[Adam puts his finger on Charlie's lips to quiet her down for a moment.]

Adam: Hey, hey, hey, hey, slow down. We've got time. How about we get to know each other a little. Mmm. How about lunch? You hungry? I got you.

[Adam takes a plate of ribs he's been eating toward Charlie.]

Adam: Here's my personal favorite. You'll love it.

Charlie: Uh...thanks.

[Charlie went to take a piece of a rib, but her hand past right through them, also revealing to be a hologram, as they fizz on and off from the touch, and Adam laughs.]

Adam: I got you again, bitch! *laughs* Fuckin' hilarious!

[Charlie makes a small unamused chuckle alongside Adam's hyper laughter.]

Adam: So, I was playin’ this gig, and for some fuckin’ reason, this virtue chick was diggin’ on the drummer, and it's like, “do you know who I am? I’m fuckin’ Adam. I’m the original dick!” (pointing to his penis down the table) All dicks descend from me. You think you want drummer dick? (Lute shaking her head) No way! I’m the Dick-fuckin’ master! (eats a mouthful of ribs sloppily) So, anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What’d you do this weekend?

Charlie: Wait, your name is Adam? Like the first man Adam, that means you…Oh….

(Charlie puts the pieces together, realizing this is the reason why her mother left him, making her wince.)

Charlie: (low voice) That explains so much.

Adam: I know. I fucking rock. (Held a rock pose)

(Charlie brushes off the awkwardness from Adam and gets to her subject of matter in hand.)

Charlie: Well, Adam, sir. Mr. Adam, sir.

Adam: Call me, Dickmaster.

Charlie: Adam. You seem like a smart (paused) well, stand up guy.

Adam: (picking his teeth) Uh-huh.

Charlie: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a big thinker, a revolutionary. A— A genius!

Adam: I mean, your words, babe.

Charlie: Who would really love to put his name on something.

Adam: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!

Charlie: It’s a solution to our biggest problem!

Adam: Oh, Herpes. Yeah, that’s a bitch.

Charlie: No! Our... other biggest problem.

Adam: Oh…uh..ugly people? Math? Global Warming? Nah, wait, that’s Earth’s problem.

(Charlie stares at Adam with deadpan annoyance at how ignorant he is.)

Adam: Ummm...

Adam: When you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check but you're like, (high pitched-voice) "Hey, I thought you wanted equality."

Charlie: NO! our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!

Adam: Ohh, well that's not a problem! We got that covered! (turning to Lute) Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?

Lute: Got a good 275 this year, sir.

Adam: 275? Woah! Badass! Awesome job, danger tits! Pound it.

[Adam raises a fist for Lute to make a fist-bump, which she did.]

Charlie: Uh no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that right?

Adam: Oh yeah. That must suck for you! *bursts into laughter*

Charlie: But these are souls...Humans souls just the same as the ones you have up in heaven.

Lute: (coldly)  They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.

Charlie: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.

Lute: Angels don't make mistakes.

Charlie: You really think that.

Lute: I know that.

Adam: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fuckin’ life.

[As Lute comes around the table, the scene turns slightly darker with ominous red.]

Lute: The only reason you're still here is because daddy gave you and your hellborn kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel, to know how little you matter?

Adam: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it.

Charlie: Oh fuck!

[Charlie rushes to present her plan as fast as she could.]

Charlie: Okay I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes.

[Charlie coughs as she starts making a fast-talk, which is close to singing as she gets all ofer stuff out in the table to show them what she means.]

Charlie: ♫ I know Hell's population is out of control. ♫

♫ It's a bad situation. ♫

♫ It's taking a toll. ♫

♫ If we rehab these Sinners. ♫

♫ And cleanse all their souls. ♫

♫ At my Hazbin Hotel—♫

[Charlie rambles through the stacks of paper to get something.]

Charlie: Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!

♫ Right! Extermination! ♫

♫ I know you guys fly down. ♫

♫ Just to kill once a year. ♫

♫ And it must be annoying. ♫

♫ To schlep all the way here. ♫

♫ If they join you in Heaven. ♫

♫ That trip disappears! ♫

♫ You can wave that chore farewell. ♫

♫ (deep breath) It'll be a happy day—♫

Adam: ♫ Let me stop you right there. ♫

Charlie: Oh

Adam: ♫ Save us all precious time. ♫

Charlie: Okay...

Adam: ♫ If what you're suggesting. ♫

♫ Is letting them climb. ♫

♫ Up the ladder. ♫

♫Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates? ♫

Charlie: Well, uh—

Adam: ♫ Sorry, sweetie. But there's no defyin' their fates! ♫

♫ 'Cause Hell is forever. ♫

♫ Whether you like it or not. ♫

♫ Had their chance to behave better. ♫

♫ Now they boil in the pot. ♫

♫ 'Cause the rules are black and white. ♫

♫ There's no use in tryin' to fight it. ♫

♫ They're burnin' for their lives. ♫

♫ Until we kill 'em again! ♫

Charlie: Okay, but—

Adam: ♫ Just try to chillax, babe. ♫

♫You're wasting your breath. ♫

Charlie: Hehe...

Adam: ♫ Did I hear you imply. ♫

♫ That they don't deserve death?

♫ Are they Winners? ♫

♫ Are they Sinners? ♫

♫ 'Cause it's cut and dry. ♫

Charlie: Well, actually, if you take a look—

Adam: ♫ Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! ♫

♫ And when all's said and done (Said and done) ♫

♫ There's the question of fun (Fun) ♫

♫ And for those of us with Divine Ordainment. ♫

♫ Extermination is entertainment! ♫

♫ Bow-now-now-nownow ♫

Adam: Guitar solo, fuck yeah!

♫ Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow. ♫

[After Adam throws Charlie’s papers at her, she gets so angry that she turns into her demon form, making growling noise]

Charlie: Ugh...

Adam: ♫ Hell is forever. ♫

♫ Whether you like it or not. ♫

♫ Had their chance to behave better. ♫

[Four golden mirages of Exorcists appears, surrounding Charlie from all sides.]

(Charlie: Where the Hell did you people come from?!)

♫ Now they boil in the pot. ♫

♫ 'Cause the rules are black and white. ♫

♫ There's no use in tryin' to fight it. ♫

♫ They're burnin' for their lives. ♫

♫ Until we kill 'em again! ♫

♫ Fuckin' Hell's forever. ♫

♫ And it's meant to suck a lot. ♫

♫ So give up your dumb endeavor. ♫

♫ 'Cause you don't have a shot! ♫

♫ Long as I've got your attention. ♫

♫ I guess I should probably mention. ♫

♫ That we made the determination. ♫

♫ To move up the next Extermination! ♫

Charlie: What?!

Adam: ♫ Can't wait a whole year. ♫

♫ To slaughter those little cunts. ♫

♫ I know it's just been a week. ♫

♫ But we'll be back in six months! ♫

[Despite being a hologram, Adam grabs Charlie and throws her right out of the door.]

Charlie: Um, wait, you-you— Ugh, SHIT!

[Before Charlie tries to get to Adam, the door closes while he continues to do a guitar solo shredding. Defeated, Charlie slams a fist on the door before the scene cuts to black.]

[Copy paste my beloved]

[kiyocuck]

silly

ok im sick as hell and unfortunately also very bored so im gonna write down some silly naeishimondo scenarios ive been brainrotting for a while

Makoto being sick like me and staying home, meanwhile both taka and mondo barge into his house, bringing in homemade soup and tea (both of which makoto already got), and while they're being sad over the fact their favorite little guy wont be at the academy with them for the rest of the week, komaru steals the soup and tea cuz she woke up sick too (from makoto). An alt ending is them giving makoto a Liiiittle kiss on the forehead, both of them thinking they wont get sick, and waking up with 40°C temperature the next day

Them all going to mondo's house for a hangout-sleepover bcuz hes the only one of the three with a queen-sized bed (lil context, after mondo quit being a biker gang leader [in a universe where daiya is alive cuz fuck you] him and his brother move to a more. "calm" place, just the two of them. they still hangout w the other gang members though). they all watch movies and taka drops dead snoring the second the clock hits 10pm bcuz his brain cant handle staying up later for "no reason" (he has pulled all nighters when it comes to studying). mondo falls asleep second, and makoto just watches them sleep peacefully before snuggling between them and going to sleep too (imagine cringing over what ur writing help)

Going home in the snowy weather after shopping all evening (taka made them both come with him). theyre all holding equal amount of bags, until mondo grabs them all and speedruns to their house cuz hes FREEZING, and boy oh boy does he not like the cold at all. after that he sticks himself to the heater for like 10 minutes, while makoto and taka think to themselves that he looks like hes purring next to it (they both assigned him a catboy in their heads cuz it makes him 10 times cuter (also my version of him has a default >:3 face that all owada family members have (its more noticable on daiya but still))

Continuing the last one, theyre cooking together now!!! mondo kinda sucks at it, makoto is trying his best, and taka is this 🤏 close to chewing a brick over how they cut the vegetables (they look chunky (his autism can't stand it, meanwhile their autisms dont care/dont even notice it (no im not projecting not at all))). eventually they make a nice meal (of unknown kind cuz i can never think of foods LMFAO) and it turned out surprisingly good. yum!

Pet assigning. as i mentioned makoto n taka have assigned mondo a cat/catboy, but the same applies for the others. taka is a dog, obviously, but specifically a husky BECAUSE (im gonna be so annoying about this): Hes black and white, hes dramatic and loud like how huskies are, very loving (as every dog), and when his hair grows out more and mondo touches it, it reminds him of how fluffy huskies' fur is. makoto is a bunny, but i unfortunately dont know many bunny breeds so i will probably elaborate more once i look up and decide. hes just short/"small" and silly like one, and his ahoge going down when hes sad resembles bunny ears going down. (btw if ur curious mondo is either a tiger (still a cat!!!) or a persian cat. bcuz i cant help but imagine him as a chonky orange persian cat that on one occasion scratches your eyes, and on another cuddles on your shoulders. la creatura)

i think thats all for now! most of my other scenarios are even more generic, like going on dates (aquarium, cafe, cinema etc) so i dont have that much to write LOL.

if you read the whole thing, heres some items for yuo 🍀🧭💎

[originemesis]

@bored2deathiswear xxx

Mercy, what a terrible concept. Something about mercy felt futile, empty. It felt as if Mercy in a case like this meant nothing, only another word out of so many that in this context left a bad aftertaste. Adam didn't deserve Mercy, he was a problem, a problem that needed to be finished. Over, dealt with. But when she looked at him with those eyes and begged him for Mercy, how could he say no? At this point, he'd have given up all his wings and crown for her. "You have to save him."

Her voice echoed in his head for days as the wounded bird was in and out of consciousness as he was tended to by one of his demonic subordinates. The healing process was long but worth it.

But...was it worth it?

Because at where he stood, looking at what he was, it didn't feel worth it whatsoever. It felt like another regret. His serpent eyes stared at the havoc, the storm tantrum the favorite of heaven threw and all he could feel was pure spite. Asking himself "Why?" Only to be reminded. Hoping that Charlie was right on this because he felt it to be so wrong. He trusted her, he just didn't trust...him.

The king of hell remained in place as the gaze of Adam turned to him. Away from the light and in a sober stance. Arms behind his back, staring down at the other. The lip twitched up some as he was talked to, ever so lightly, a microscopic reaction to the whole ordeal finally translated into the physical sphere.

Then...

Step.

Step.

Step.

Until his feet were by the turned bed. His black leather boots shone under the gleam, his face still somewhat darkened by his hat, and the shadow of a slight glare. His hands around his cane as it stood behind his back.

A sigh. Equally as unshowing.

"Is this how you show gratitude? I give you comfort and what you do is turn it upside down? Rampage it and destroy it like a child?"

-Indeed you can't fix an old dog - A thought occurred in his mind as he stood there, closer to the captive. His voice strangely calm and cold.

The scowl he wears- worn when he knows he's being watched without reason, remedies to a sharpened grin as his display of explosive disdain for creature comforts finally draws his annoyingly omnipresent audience over right as he slashes a sharpened talon through a crude drawing in the wood that looks sort of like his jailer, but far more muppety. Since that was the last of his nails that needed buffering, he settles into his sideways slouch upon the baseboard as it creaks under the effort of supporting a hybrid being that carried a train's momentum with him if he timed his air tackles just right. Not that there was any air to catch even with the high ceiling rafters with his wings firmly wrapped under bandages tightened to speed up the various small boned breaks and feather sprains, but then fitted extra tight to spite him when he kept complaining about how the demon attendant assigned to his bedside for the first grueling months of mending really should have bigger tits.

Examining the new sheen at the tips of one flexed talon like listening to the other is an afterthought of all the clearly important tasks he had to do to finish his redecoration plans, he loses a snort at the tail end of the sentiment he manages to catch. "Pffbt- gratitude?! Oh, I'm soooo grateful for being locked up in your little shit of a zoo exhibit- do you even hear yourself right not?" Wrist flicking as he gestures around the area as if the other forgot just where he'd stashed him surrounded by several smothering force fields, then quirked a brow bidding the other an accusatory 'well??' Like he wanted to hear whatever snowflake excuse he'd concocted as reason for it again- because he didn't, it was always the same shit with this guy. Mercy for the sake of gloating. The apple wallpaper (he'd definitely scratched up by now) was proof of that.

"-and any-fucking-ways, who said I needed comfort? I made the earth into my personal Minecraft server from literal shit all. I think I know how to rot in cell just fine~" With a condescending croon over his knuckles, he adjusts with his arms tucking behind his head like he's finally getting comfy now that the room's showing more signs of his resistance. "Which won't be long once the seraphim find out where I am. I'd say it's been nice knowing you in a, y'know! Unfucked by the energy of a thousand suns state. But it hasn't, soooo..."

[janeykath318]

A Princess Bride Meet Cute (Shieldshock)

For @glynnisi

“You’ve got that dumbstruck smile again, Darcy,” Jane pointed out to her friend as they sipped their coffee. “I can’t believe you still haven’t talked to him.”

Darcy just shrugged, eyes following the broad back of Steve Rogers as he exited the little cafe.

“It’s very unlike me, I know,” Darcy admitted. “But I don’t wanna ruin this fun little…….thing. Hitting on Captain America is a bit different than some random cute dude.”

“How so? Steve’s just a normal guy and you’d find that out for yourself if you’d just talk to him.” Jane sighed.

Darcy snorted. “Normal? Him?”

She’d been exchanging non-verbal greetings with Steve for a couple months now since they’d moved into Avengers tower. He’d smile and wave at her whenever they’d pass each other in the hall or share an elevator. Darcy would return the smile, always feeling very giddy from the beauty of it. She hadn’t got up the courage to say anything yet, which annoyed Jane greatly.

“Well, just be glad Romanoff’s away or she would see your eye fucking and deal with you two idiots posthaste.”

“It’s not eye fucking, Jane! He’d probably die of horror at the thought.”

Jane just gave a mysterious smile. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

“Are you coming with me to the Princess Bride screening tomorrow?” Darcy asked to change the topic. It was her favorite movie and she was very hyped to see it on a big screen.

“Sadly, no,” Jane answered regretfully. “I’ve got a very important meeting that Fury won’t let me miss.”

“Ugh.” Darcy wrinkled her nose. “My sympathies.”

The following day, she entered the theater armed with a giant bowl of popcorn and a couple boxes of Resees Pieces. It was midday on a Tuesday, so the place was pretty much empty, which Darcy loved. She didn’t have to worry about judgmental stares from old people or being tripped over by kids taking a half dozen potty breaks.

During the second trailer, she heard someone approach her row and looked up to see Steve Rogers sit down four seats away from her. He gave her a delighted smile and she instinctively waved back, even as her stomach did somersaults.

“Who are you trying to fool, Lewis?” She heard Natasha’s voice in her head. “You’ve got it bad.”

As the movie progressed, she glanced over periodically to gauge Steve’s reaction, which indicated he hadn’t seen the movie before, but was heartily enjoying it. He seemed especially tickled by the iocane powder scene and the Rodents Of Unusual Size.

Darcy heaved a happy sigh as the credits rolled, munching the last of her candy contentedly. Her neighbor was marking something down in a small notebook.

“I waited way too long to watch that movie,” she heard Steve say as he pocketed the notebook. “That was fantastic.”

“I know, right?” Darcy exclaimed, forgetting her shyness around him. “I’ve seen it fifteen times now and it never gets old.”

“I’ll have to catch it again, sometime.” Steve remarked, then he looked more closely at her and did a double take.

“Wait—you’re the one I’ve been seeing around the tower lately with Dr. Foster. I’m Steve Rogers.”

He held out a large hand and Darcy shook it happily.

“Wow. I’m Darcy Lewis, and I was wanting to say something before, but your face left me tongue-tied.”

Steve chuckled.

“Well, your face left me equally tongue-tied.”

Darcy’s face grew warm and she decided to go for it.

“Hmm. Natasha would shake her head at how much time we’ve wasted. Wanna get a late lunch?”

“Absolutely,” Steve agreed, giving another bashful smile. “And yes, if she’d been here, she probably would have locked us in a closet right now. She’s threatened to make me a Tinder profile when she gets back next week.”

“Oh, no.” Darcy shuddered at the thought. “That’s like throwing a lamb to the wolves! What was she thinking?”

Steve snorted at her simile and sighed.

“She was tired of me dragging my heels about dating again and said I was starting to resemble a sad sheepdog and needed to get a life.”

Darcy chuckled as they left the theater together.

“Well, she’s gonna be in for a nice surprise, then. Though I always thought you were the golden retriever type. Now, follow me, Steve, and I will introduce you to the best burger you’ve ever tasted.”

“As you wish,” Steve replied with a grin.

The burger was indeed very good, but Steve was far more interested in Darcy Lewis and her delightful conversation. As for Darcy, she found that a relaxed off duty Steve was a very normal person like Jane had said and very fun to be around.

Needless to say, when Natasha Romanoff returned a few days later, she was pleased to catch Steve and Darcy shamelessly flirting in the hallway.

“There’s hope for him after all.” she declared.

[livvyofthelake]

well see the thing about the wicked powers is that we literally have to give thanks and praise and all that to dru because frankly she's taking the craziest hits for me on multiple fronts. as we all know every cassie series has to have some semblance of a love triangle and i always hate it and she never stops doing it and it makes me want to kill her more than anything in the world. dru's taking the love triangle bullet and the thing about it is that she might actually slay. this could be cassie's first love triangle that doesn't make me want to shoot myself in the head. sorry. no i didn't like tessa's either i was not a tid girlie i respect those who were but that was not my life peace and love. i hate a love triangle i really do. it's always so clear which guy she has to end up with it's fucking annoying. and that's also true for dru and ash like we all know she's not ending up with jamie he's a red herring but still it could possibly even be interesting. you know? like i actually want to see how this pans out. as opposed to say. cordelia and matthew, which made me want to kill myself. the other thing is that cassie loves it when her girl protagonists do this annoying ass oh i'm so insecure how could he ever love little old me thing, which with characters like emma and cordelia, again, made me want to fucking kill myself. but dru could slay that, we already know she would feel that way about jamie, we don't know anything about ash actually and i don't want to cast judgment on him so early so i won't speculate about whether the insecurity shit will be annoying for them. small tangent, i LOVE how cassie has given us basically nothing about ash. good. i don't want to know lest i develop an incorrect perception just to watch cassie jace/will-ify him twp book one. i had to watch that happen to my buddy james herondale and it made me so mad it's unreal. like i would prefer to not get to know that boy until we're like maybe six months out from release. to be honest. i've just been sitting here thinking well he's probably going to either be like a holly black love interest or he's going to be another will herondale-ified stock love interest. either way i don't care the point is i'm flexible. finally the last thing i need to say rn, and this is what i was thinking about earlier if you recall. the other thing all cassie main couples have to do is secret relationships. these idiots love getting into secret relationahips it's so crazy. one thing about me: i hate secret relationships. the way cassie does it can be slay (emma and jules) but i would kill myself if that had to happen to kit and ty. so i'm so absolutely grateful that they aren't the main relationship and dru is the one that has to take all these hits. she's literally doing so much for me AND she might even slay all of it. i hate to say this but i might love her as a protagonist more than cordelia. that's an early thought though don't hold me to that. but think about all the cassie protagonist staples, and then think about dru. she could really slay that in a way not seen before since clary herself..... emma of course is exempt from a lot of the cassie staples because emma and jules are special in the sense that they're like essentially gender flipped. it's complicated to explain but just trust me when i say cassie has a formula and emma and jules are something different, and that's why they're my favorites of course <3

anyway. thanks dru. i'm thrilled to see her as a protagonist and my special guys as secondary protagonists, truly nothing better than being the secondary romance in a cassie book, remember lucie and jesse...... goddamn. would you all say simon and izzy of magnus and alec are the "secondary romace" of tmi? discussion question. i would say simon and izzy because simon is the tertiary protagonist, but i feel like maybe they're actually just equally secondary. obviously the secondary romanc eof tda is cristina et al but they're a flop as we all know. however it only makes sense that they'd be the flop secondary romance because tda is the exception to the main couple rules. well in any case i'm glad this series won't come out for a while i sincerely need to become normal before i have to read all that.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Okay here's the prologue 😍🤞🏾

--------------

Rain.

You adored rain, it didn't matter whether it was a light shower, raging down poor, or even when thunder struck so hard it made buildings shake. But for you, rain had always been a safe space for you. Some people could definitely disagree with you right now; especially Zero.

"I swear to god, Nemphis!"

It came out as a grumble, a deep sound that resembled his equally deep voice. A pillow was clutched tightly over the back of his head, his pointed ears popping out of his ivory colored hair. His hair was messy, now freed from the bun he usually kept it in. It went down to his shoulders, and right now it was down as he glared Nemphis through the thin curtain of his hair.

Nemphis on the other hand, was laughing. Cackling at him even, he sounded more like a witch then you and you actually were the witch. Nemphis grinned at Zero his sharp teeth showing easily and even looked as if he was enjoying pissing him off, that thought alone made you laugh slightly.

"Alright, break it up. Break it up, if your gonna make out- at least go to a different room."

Rolling your eyes in a playful manner. Voice full of sarcasm, you closed your book and decided to pay attention to them.

"Well, Zero shall we? Assuming you don't want to join Angel?"

Nemphis turned to you his eye brow lifted slightly in question with slight smirk playing at his lips. He ran his hand through his lavender colored hair and shoved his hands into his pockets awaiting my answer, looking at me with his stormy gray eyes. Ironic how it resembled the clouds in the sky today.

"Sorry boys I'll have to turn you down on that one, I have a date with my cat and criminal minds."

I shrugged casually, easily deflecting Nemphis's attempt at flirting. Walking over to Zero, I bend down now resting on my knees as I look down at him. He's covered in a blanket laying under it with his pillow, still being covered up over his ears. Thinking for a moment, you stop. And smile, for such a big guy he can be so cute. Zero is easily about 6'8 while Nemphis is only a inch under. You don't understand how people can be so afraid of them, genuinely.

"Hey there big guy, you need anything?"

Voice full of genuine concern you poke your head under the blankets so he could hear you better. He shifted before moving to look at you.

"Yeah, need Nemphis to shut the actual fuck up."

He stated, very stubborn on this and wasn't moving on his statement.

"Hey man, I wasn't even being serious big guy chill." He shrugged and quickly went to defend himself.

You huffed, rolling your eyes at their antics before gently bringing zero into a hug comforting him. Running your fingers through his hair, carefully tracing patterns on his back to help calm him down.

"Hey wait, I wanna join the cuddle party!" Whining, Nemphis tried to get under the cover with you and Zero only to be met with a you giggling quietly and pushing him back out.

"If you want any sort of cuddles, you have to put on Zero's favorite movie, make popcorn, and get my spell book." You demanded. You mainly needed all of these to comfort Zero, you knew that Nemphis was happy to do it cause he really felt bad about pushing Zero a lil to far. So with little complaint he did, reaching his hand under the blanket and handing you your spell book.

"Thank you Nem." You gave him a kiss on the cheek as you removed the blanket from you and Zero, Zero angrily grumbling about but didn't complain to much nonetheless.

You stood up and had the book flip to the spell you wanted, it floating in front of you as you read the familiar spell. Honestly it's surprisingly you haven't memorized it it's probably because Nemphis and Zero insisted you memorized attack and healing spells instead. Sighing softly you scanned the page and relaxed letting the familiar feeling of your magic start to pour out of soul and into the air a small magic circle appeared under you glowing lightly of a faint white color as did your eyes, as you muttered the spell. In the sky a patch above your house was cleared, and the stary night skin pooled through the open hole. Rain was hitting everywhere but the house and it seemed like the thunder and lightning was muffled, if not completely silenced. Turning off your magic and with a flick of your wrist your spell book closed and set itself on the table, Nemphis and Zero looked dazed staring at you. Like you'd just hanged the stars in the sky and took them to heaven itself. And to them, you truly did. Shaking your head for a moment to clear off any lingering affects of the magic you turn to the boys and sit on the coach gesturing for Zero to join you and Nemphis.

"Is this a new episode?" He questioned as he sat down basically dawfing you in size it was ridiculous, but he layed his head on your lap as Nemphis had his arm over your shoulders and head resting on yours. Both of them were very much taller than you but you didn't really find it that intimidating.

"I think so, haven't seen this one yet.." You mumbled watching the tv screen as you ate some popcorn.

Moments like this made you wonder how people can see these two as threatening, intimidating, scary, or even terrifying. To you their just two big babies who like to be lil shits to each other. But even then you wouldn't have it any other way.

------

Boom bow

~☔&💫

OH MY LORDY LORDDDDD I LOVE IT I NEED U TO FINISH IT NAOW!!!!!

anywho im on the 46th chapter tehe and i anticipate it to be like 50-52 chapters :3

[yikimiki]

Please more Reiner and size kinkkkkkkk

SAY NO MORE!!! I actually got really carried away with this one because Reiner with a size kink just makes me go insane

jock!reiner x fem!reader | warnings: smut, size kink, dirty talk, rough sex, semi-public, unprotected sex, college au, praise kink, creampie, breeding kink

♡ ♡ ♡

In his defense, Reiner warned you. You just decided not to take him seriously.

Could you blame yourself? Not really, not when a lot of guys like to play up their sizes to get people interested. In your blissful innocence, you thought that Reiner, local dumbass and above average quarterback, was doing the same when he told you like three times that he might have to prepare you a little longer. In your lustful and incredulous haze, you only rolled your eyes, pulling him closer and moaning once your mouths collided back into a heated kiss.

Party hook-ups were never your go-to, but these are different times. Tonight, after a huge back and forth between the two of you, the bubble of sexual tension finally exploded when you straddled his meaty tights, making out with him on the sofa. It wasn’t long before Reiner was panting and groaning, the imprint of his hard cock poking your inner tight, and even less time until he was practically begging to take you somewhere private.

Which leads you here: with your legs spread open, panties hanging on one ankle and skirt pulled up to reveal your soaked pussy. Your ass is pressed against the cold marble of the bathroom sink and your eager eyes are watching as Reiner finally pulls his pants down, dragging his underwear down with it.

Oh. That’s gonna be an issue.

“Oh my god,” you breathe out, feeling both aroused and terrified at once. Reiner takes one hand to pump his cock, which his for sure the biggest you’ve ever seen. He’s thick and long, with a bright red tip and thick veins standing out. His balls are equally huge, heavy and loaded as he takes a step towards you. “Reiner, you’re so big.”

He scoffs, thumb circling his tip, where a fat bead of precum started to drip. “Sure you don’t want more prep?” He asks and, in a suicidal decision, you shake your head no. You’re being stupid for the second time tonight, but, now, it’s on purpose. As much as you think there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to take him inside, you want to feel the stretch of every single inch Reiner has to give you. He raises one eyebrow. “Sure about that?”

Tentatively, you curl one hand around his member, gasping once you notice you can’t even hold him all the way around. Reiner sees it too, hissing at the image. “I’m sure,” you say. “I wanna try.”

He takes another step towards you, large hands separating your thighs before he yanks you closer by the waist. You yelp at the movement, growing even wetter at his strength. “You sure you can take my cock, baby?” The pet name makes your toes curl, the vibrato of his voice now so much closer to you. Now that Reiner is standing tall before you, you come to terms with the fact that he’s huge all around — strong, defined muscles, tall, broad shoulders. He could break you in half if he wanted to. “Pussy looks so fucking tiny. I doubt I’ll fit.”

You gasp when two of his fingers spread your pussy lips apart. You hold his cock tighter, earning a groan from him. “Please, make it fit,” you almost sob. You never needed something so much in your life. “I can take whatever you give me, please.”

That seems to be enough for Reiner. He takes your hand away from his cock and lines his tip with your soaked entrance, rubbing himself up and down to catch more of your arousal. You are moaning at that feeling alone, entire body expecting for the moment that he finally enters you.

“Ready?” He asks. You nod, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Gonna go slow. But I can’t promise I’ll hold back later.”

“Okay,” you say.

The tip of his cock presses tightly against your entrance, intruding past the ring of muscle. Reiner growls against your ear at the feeling of your tiny pussy clenching around him, almost pushing him out. “You have to relax for me, baby,” he asks.

“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccup. “It’s just— you’re so big, so big.”

“Shhh, I know, baby, I know.” Reiner kisses your temple, then presses forward once again. You cry out his name as his huge length splits you open, feeling like you’re about to cum from his size alone. By the time that he bottoms out — how, you have no idea — you’re crying out in pain and pleasure, nails digging into his large biceps as he waits for you to get used to it. “Fuck, baby,” Reiner moans. “You’re way too fucking tight. Pussy’s just sucking me in.”

“M-move, please,” you beg. “Please, Reiner.”

You don’t have to ask twice. Reiner is slamming his hips against yours in no time, pace getting faster and faster until you’re practically bouncing on the bathroom sink, tits moving up and down with the force of his thrusts. You just feel so small caged by his strong arms; the animalistic glint in his eyes making you feel like he’s about to eat you whole. Still, you can’t think much further than that, not with his huge cock fucking you dumb, brushing against every single sweet spot you have.

“G-God, you’re such a good girl,” Reiner hisses, one arm circling your waist so he can change the angle of his thrusts. “You’re taking my fat cock so fucking well, this tight little pussy is not even letting me slip out.” His cock throbs inside you as he says that, and some part of your fucked-out brain realizes that he must like the size difference just as much as you. “Tell me you like it, baby, tell me.”

“I love it,” you moan, throwing your head back. Reiner is attacking your neck in no time, deep voice vibrating against your jugular as your walls start to clamp around him. Your next words are a complete disconnected mess because of your orgasm, but every single one is like music to his ears. “R-Reiner, your cock’s s-so huge, so big, can’t take it— too much, it’s too much, I can’t...”

“Cum for me. You’re gonna be a good girl and gonna take every fucking inch of this cock,” he orders. You do both — walls spasming around his girth as your high washes over you, calling out his name again and again as if there aren’t hundreds of people just outside the bathroom door. But you don’t care, not when Reiner keeps using your pussy as his favorite toy, moaning and cursing as his own high approaches. “Tell me I can cum inside you,” he practically begs. “Tell me I can breed this pussy.”

You nod, still drunk off the pleasure. “Yes, please, fill me up, Reiner, please.”

His hand is on the back of your neck before you can think, pulling you into a kiss that is all teeth and tongue. “Gonna give you every drop of my cum, baby,” Reiner promises. “Gonna fill you up until your pussy is dripping.”

This time, you’re smart enough to believe his warnings. Reiner cums soon after — and he cums a lot. Wave after wave of white shoots out of his cock, his hands holding onto your hips so tightly you just know it’ll be sore in the morning. You’re stuttering out his name as another small orgasm rushes through your body, enough to push out his cum before he’s even done with it, dripping down the sides of his cock and onto the floor. With his size and his release, you feel as full as you can get, bliss overtaking your body as he finally pulls away.

“What a mess,” you giggle, looking down between your legs.

Reiner agrees with a chuckle, leaning in to place a soft kiss against your lips. “You did so well,” he praises and you feel yourself melt. “Mind if I call you one of these days?”

[youryanderedaddy]

I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙

Yo this is my kink 😳

Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.

Title: Stranger danger

Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping

You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.

Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.

You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.

The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.

Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.

One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.

After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.

You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.

You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.

"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.

"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.

"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.

"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.

The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.

You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.

You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.

[miekasa]

M-mie could we get some athlete boyfriend eren hcs too if you don’t mind, please and thank you😩

He is: my boyfriend, and I love him dearly. Perfect amount of himbo and athlete without being a jock, everybody give it up for Eren for being my dream boy <3

Eren plays sports year round, with the exception of maybe one or two winter seasons, just because his school/work/home life was too busy for athletics at those times. Otherwise, he’s always go something to practice for: soccer in the fall, hockey in the winter, and his choice of baseball or basketball in the spring.

He’s not a varsity athlete; that is, he’s not “committed” to any one team, so he’s not tied to playing one sport every year, nor are his academics linked to his athletics, or vice versa. He’s just a pretty athletic guy, and he’s got a lot of energy, and he enjoys sports, so naturally he plays whenever he can.

As it turns out, it does help him with his academics. Knowing he’s got practice the majority of the week forces Eren into building a schedule that prioritizes both schoolwork and sports so he can enjoy them equally. It teaches him to be independent in a way that he wasn’t expecting, but he’s come to really love.

And because he loves it, he doesn’t mind working hard for it. Liking the way he’s set it up for himself encourages him to do his best in both areas. It’s really just good for him all around: a good outlet fo his energy, a good way to spend his time, a good way to keep his grades in check, and a good way to keep himself comfortably happy and busy.

His appetite is insatiable, so it’s only dramatized when playing sports. He takes the all you can eat in all you can eat sushi a little too seriously.

The thing is… he’s a shit cook, too, so it’s not like he’s meal prepping to make sure he’s satisfying his appetite. He just buys a shit ton of food whenever he’s hungry. He’s always asking you if you wanna grab food, and part of it is to ensure that you’re eating—not as much as him, but eating nonetheless—but part of it is that he just likes sharing meals with someone.

He also doesn’t like to eat alone, so even if you only have your ten California rolls to his forty six spicy tuna rolls, that’s fine; he just wants the company.

That’s also why even if you say you’re not hungry, he’ll drag you out to eat with him anyway. And you’ll probably get fed some of his food even if you don’t order anything and insist that you’re not hungry because, “It’s really good, baby, just try it—just one bite, it’s okay I’ve got plenty left!”

He usually keeps a few granola bars and chips and other snacks of his liking on him. But because of Eren’s nature, he keeps them on you, too: in your car, in your backpack, in your apartment/dorm. You’ll meet him after class and he’ll kinda just start walking behind you, and you realize he’s opening your backpack, and you don’t even have time to question him before he’s pulling a bar out of the smallest pocket with a smile and munching on it.

Sometimes you come home and see his little protein shakes in your fridge. You definitely didn’t put them there, but you don’t move them, either. When you stock up on more when they’re running low, Eren contemplates marrying you.

If it’s been a hard week of practice or school, he tends to get sleepy when studying (usually when studying for his least favorite class, no coincidence there). He’ll close his laptop, put his hood up, and scooch his chair closer to yours before leaning his head on your shoulder.

He gets increasingly clingier the longer he naps; hand wrapping around your waist, nose poking at your neck. He’s not so subtly trying to hint that he wants you to quit studying and take him home to cuddle instead. If you don’t get the message, expect him to shut your laptop for you.

When you protest, Eren just looks at you with pouty lips and tired eyes, “Chemistry sucks anyway. Wanna nap, and also wanted you to do that thing with your hands when you massage my back for me.” (He then promptly falls asleep mid-massage on your bed).

He’s actually got a waiver to see a physical massage therapist because of how frequently he’s exercising. On occasion, he goes, but he claims he likes your massages much better. Also because he’s hesitant about a stranger touching him and once he moaned when the guy was working on his back and Eren swears it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.

He doesn’t get upset if you can’t make it to every game, but he does like it when you show up. Gets all cheesy and cocky with his arm around your shoulder, going on about how, “You’re my good luck charm, baby. I play better when you’re watching, you know?”

He has so much team clothing, from sweats to hoodies to t-shirts to socks. All he asks is that you wear something on game days, even if you can’t be there to support him while he’s playing. And that you keep one or two things for yourself anyway. He’ll put them in your closet for your if you don’t take them yourself <2

Because seeing you in his hoodie is always great, but his team hoodies are extra special, because they’ve got his name and his number on them. Whenever you’re wearing one, he trails just a half step behind you so he can see JAEGER printed on your back while you walk. Something about you wearing his last name around is… enticing, to say the least.

Even if it’s not the clothes branded with his name, Eren’s got a thing for you in sweats and/or workout clothes, so he’ll toss them at you whenever you sleep over. He’s always handsy, even if you’re just wearing an Under Armour shirt with the school’s logo on it; the material of it, and knowing that it’s his just makes him want to keep his hands on you.

Truthfully, he doesn’t workout all that much outside of practice. Occasionally, he’ll go to the gym with some of his teammates if they need a buddy, or go himself to stretch or take one of the free classes, but he doesn’t have a strict schedule for it. If you go to the gym, he’ll follow you if you ask, tho.

Turns out something that he does like is yoga. He’s not particularly flexible lmfao, but the stretching helps with muscle pain and tension, and he kinda finds the whole atmosphere of it relaxing. He’s still not so great at the meditation part of it, but he’s getting there.

(Actually, it’s pretty cute because on Tuesday and Thursdays, the yoga classes at the gym on campus are open-level and beginner friendly. That’s when the majority of the athletes show up, and you see people like Eren, Jean and Connie holding tree pose in the back room).

This, of course, makes him think that couples yoga is a great idea. Let’s just say, you’re lucky that Eren is strong enough to catch you and has sharp reflexes, because he’s certainly not the most balanced partner for this activity.

Game days are fun for him, and usually even if his team loses, he’s still so pumped up on adrenaline that he’s pretty happy. He only gets moody if he thinks the other team is playing dirty, or the refs are unfair, or he’s just been in a bad mood because of something that happened in his personal life; sports are an outlet for him, not his drive in life, so losing a game doesn’t take a huge toll on him.

Usually, even if he is upset about something personal, he’s able to funnel it into his game play. Small things used to make his whole sportsmanship sour, but overtime, he’s really gotten better at using his energy to fuel the right things. However, one thing that makes him foul (emotionally and literally; as in he might foul out of a game), is if he’s been fighting with you.

Sometimes it works in his favor—using the game as outlet, like usual—but it goes south pretty quickly. Because instead of using his aggression in a productive way, he gets distracted and easily pissed off, and it’s no good for anybody, especially himself. Because if he fouls out, or the coach takes him out for doing too much, then he can’t play; and if he can’t play then all that pent up frustration has no where to go; and then he’s forced to just sit with himself and his thoughts, but usually he starts deflecting and telling everyone else to piss off. Truly a no good, very bad box he’s put himself in.

You guys don’t fight that often, and it’s rare that it drags out for an extended amount of time when you do; but as with any relationship, it can happen. And when it does happen, if Armin doesn’t get to you first, expect one of Eren’s teammates to come groveling at your feet.

Or, rather, two. Because when you and Eren were fighting for over two weeks about god knows what at this point, it was Connie and Jean who ambushed you in the library. Jean had some pride to keep, but Connie was practically begging you to make up with Eren: “Look, I know he’s probably the one who said or did something to piss you off, and I’m not saying you gotta forgive him, but please just talk to him. I can’t run anymore extra laps because of him, and it’s gonna be so embarrassing if we lose to a C-list team on Friday because Eren’s funking up everyone’s attitude. PLEASE!”

Jean is more interested in the tea between you guys, but he also wants Eren to go back to being his normal hotheaded self, and not his current moody self. “He’s been playing like a bitch baby all week, and I’m gonna knock his skull in if he doesn’t fucking get his act together,” Jean rolls his eyes, “So just show up on Friday, alright? Do it for me and Connie, at least.”

When Eren does see you in the crowd at the game, it’s not a Troy and Gabriella moment, but when he sees you he feels so much relief that he’s physically calmer and way more mentally relaxed—because at this point Eren wasn’t even mad, he was just scared you might break up with him, and that fear brought out the worst in him. Seeing you in the stands, even if you didn’t wanna speak to him, was reassurance that you still gave a damn about him, and that was motivation enough.

He rushes to you after the game, wanting to make sure you don’t get swept away or leave with your friends. He’s smiling and so happy to finally see you that he almost forgets that you’re mad with him; hugging you and grinning ear to ear. When the reality kicks in, he kinda steps back at bit and rubs at his neck, embarrassed, but at least he knows he still has a chance to make things right with you.

(When you do make up, you’re surprised to find flowers and $10 coupon for your favorite pizza place in your mailbox a few days later. They’re from Connie, and his poorly handwritten note thanks you for “saving the team” and “curbing Eren’s temper).

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: 😳

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[reminiscingtonight]

Heyo, just a quick lesson for all you fuckers out there who still can't get it through your thick skulls that trashing people online is a). a shitty thing to do, and b). really quite embarrassing for you (because please, tell us you have no life without explicitly saying it). I thought I'd just throw this out here to give y'all a little incentive to quit being little dipshits.

Quick review before we start today’s lesson, according to Black's Law Dictionary (aka the most used law dictionary in the US), harassment means "repetitive annoying, irritating conduct towards another that is designed to torment the victim... Harassment may be oral, written, graphic. The goal is to be create unrest in the target of such conduct." Now that we've gotten that down, the next step is to see if what you're doing qualifies as harassment. 

Telling someone the world would be better off without them → creates unrest to your target, check ✔️

Repeatedly sending hate to the same blog (or multiple blogs bc you're salty that someone has more friends than you) → repetitive conduct with the intent to torment your victim, double check ✔️✔️

Well, harassing anons, it looks like you fit the definition of harassment to a T.

Now, what to do with that information? Well, fun fact, there are a couple laws out there that *gasp* makes your tomfoolery quite illegal.

Before you rip a hole into me and give me the classic "not everyone lives in the US," I'm going to throw a curveball and say over 150 countries have passed forms of anti-harassment laws, so don't be an ass and just look up your own laws.

Also, another side note, I'm going to be talking about US federal statutes, but be sure to check your state's laws, because your state can have some harsher punishments set up against harassment than stated in the federal law.

Alrighty, to start off, we have 47 U.S. Code § 223, aka the Telephone Harassment Act. My favorite part of the act is where it says it's a crime to utilize "a telecommunications device, whether or not conversation or communication ensues, without disclosing his identity and with intent to abuse, threaten, or harass any specific person." Granted we're in 2022 and they could be a bit more inclusive with gender equality and all that, but this act boiled down basically says it's illegal to harass people, online or in person.

And then there's also 18 U.S. Code § 2261A, the federal anti-stalking law. I can already tell what's going on in that small head of yours, so don't worry, I'll act it out for you guys so you understand what I mean.

Limp dick coward anons who send hate: "Oh, but me telling someone to off themselves doesn't mean I'm stalking them! I'm just being an asshole. Being an asshole makes me a really pathetic human being but it doesn't make me a stalker."

OP who's fed up with all the hate being spread around: "Well I got news for you, buddy. You can still sue someone under anti-stalking laws if you're being harassed. Just think about it. If you continually harass me, the logical thought would be that you're going out of your way to be a creep on my page (*cough cough* stalker *cough*) just to be able to get your unwanted messages my way."

So in conclusion, harassment is a shit thing to do. It’s also a thing that can land you in lots of hot water, so just don’t do it (unless you think getting fined and being imprisoned anywhere from a year to life sounds fun).

Cool, cool. Now that we've delved a little into the law world, do what you want with this information. You can listen to me and get the fuck out of people's inboxes and maybe try to find something productive to do with your lives OR you can keep on being slimy sleazeballs. After all, who am I, a stranger on the internet, to tell you what to do with your life? (See what I did here? I'm being a sane individual who could care less what you do with your own life bc it's your life, not mine)

All I can say is, if you want to waste my time with your continuous pointless bullshit, I guess I'll waste your time and see you in court.